Postal Patron Gifts

Us Postal Stamps: 'Cause You Don't Have A Choice.

Postal service cuts.

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Surreal ale

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'The Saxon King' pub

Wildcats Strike.

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

Seinfeld: The Early Years.

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"Yes, but is it art?"

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Pub Kendo.

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

'Boozer's Week.'

'It's very quiet in here, with everyone Twittering away.'

"Actually, we're not a snow sculpture. Just been waiting for table service since September."

Beer....Beer Fart.

"Do you realize that we spend one-third of our lives in bed and the other two-thirds in here?"