Postal Patron Pillows

Us Postal Stamps: 'Cause You Don't Have A Choice.

Postal service cuts.

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The Saxon King' pub

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Surreal ale

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

Wildcats Strike.

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

"Yes, but is it art?"

Pub Kendo.

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

'Boozer's Week.'

"Right - let's get back to the house and pretend to hate each other..."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

"Actually, we're not a snow sculpture. Just been waiting for table service since September."