Patient Traveler Gifts

Migration Rage.

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Thanks TSA

"Just five more minutes, folks, and you'll all be on your way."

"For the 30th time, we're not there yet?"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Your flight's delayed, glad you've got reading to keep you busy."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Vaccination Passport

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

'I'm going to be a little late.'

'Anything to declare?'

US Airlines

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."