Patient Traveler Pillows

Migration Rage.

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Thanks TSA

"For the 30th time, we're not there yet?"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Your flight's delayed, glad you've got reading to keep you busy."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Vaccination Passport

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

'I'm going to be a little late.'

'Anything to declare?'

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

US Airlines

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"