Patient Passenger Pillows

Trans-continental Meditation. 'Are we there yet?'

"I wish they had untamed-rage detectors."

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'Bored?'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

'I'm going to be a little late.'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"You're fine, sir. I'm ticketing your back seat passenger for persistent, obnoxious, unsolicited advice."

'You gotta help me, doctor! I took a deep breath to get some fresh air and inhaled my Blackberry!'

"Are you going to move?"

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

A feast in a hospital bed.

Thanks TSA

Taking blood pressure

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'There's a new push to improve the quality of food available...here's the takeovut menus for Ling's Chinese and the Indian in the High St!'

Burt's love of garlic was making him most unpopular with the other patients.

'Fashion Victim.'

I stood in line for an hour only to find out there's a height requirement. You must be this tall. Waits and measures!

Sofa Sale: 'I like this sofa - I'll take it.'