Health Journey Traveler Pillows

'Lies! Nothing but lies!'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'Happy 18th birthday, son, and congrats on finally overcoming your bout with childhood obesity.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Dieting Motivation.

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Scales

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

Woman and scales.