Medical Traveler Gifts

I can get you a great inexpensive knee operation in India! Here's my card.

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Little doctor.

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Parts Department

Doctors

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

Medical Examinations.

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'Urology...can you hold?'

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

Doctor testing patient reflexes with unusual results.

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

Cardiology, Neurology and Ophthalmology.

'Howard, I wish you'd stop bring your work home with you.'

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

"I can't find the instructions."

"This feels so familiar."

"And now to check the patient's reflexes."

"It appears you have a virus."

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

'Isn't medical progress marvellous? If we'd been sat here a hundred years ago, we'd be dead by now!'

'In simple terms, bacterial infections can be treated with anti-biotics such as penicillin - whereas a virus is something yur computer gets.'

Nothing like a Valentine from my boyfriend David... the cardiologist.

'Let's see now...'