Medical Traveler Gifts

I can get you a great inexpensive knee operation in India! Here's my card.

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Little doctor.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Parts Department

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Doctors

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

Medical Examinations.

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'Urology...can you hold?'

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

Doctor testing patient reflexes with unusual results.

Cardiology, Neurology and Ophthalmology.

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

"And now to check the patient's reflexes."

'Howard, I wish you'd stop bring your work home with you.'

"This feels so familiar."

"It appears you have a virus."

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

'In simple terms, bacterial infections can be treated with anti-biotics such as penicillin - whereas a virus is something yur computer gets.'

'Isn't medical progress marvellous? If we'd been sat here a hundred years ago, we'd be dead by now!'

Nothing like a Valentine from my boyfriend David... the cardiologist.

'You have echolalia — it's very common among politicians.'

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."