Pastoral Ponderers Gifts

'Your five years experience herding cats is very impressive.'

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

'I say we try it.'

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

A self-filling prophecy.

Various Birds of Pray.

Evolution of God. . .

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

'Dang, that reminds me...I've gotta get back and post an entry on my blog.'