Parish Ponderer Gifts

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I'll have dessert first."

'I say we try it.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Confusionism'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"How long has he been missing?"

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

The End is Near.

Soren Kierkegaard

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

A self-filling prophecy.

Evolution of God. . .

Various Birds of Pray.

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.