Parish Ponderer Gifts

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'I say we try it.'

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Confusionism'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"How long has he been missing?"

The End is Near.

Soren Kierkegaard

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

Various Birds of Pray.

A self-filling prophecy.

'Dang, that reminds me...I've gotta get back and post an entry on my blog.'