Pastoral Ponderer Gifts

"No, sorry. I couldn't possibly take on another one. I'm short-staffed as it is."

"Are we bucolic or just afraid to take risks?"

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

My mother was the one that pushed me into this business.

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

This would make a great puzzle!

What's the best way of removing wool from your teeth?

Cow caught on barbed wire.

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Thoughts of EWE keep running through my mind.

'Please take your receipt!'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

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"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

"I'll have dessert first."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Confusionism'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."