Pagan Ponderer Gifts

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"I believe you know Mars, God of Defense."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Why bother?"

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Ghost puddle

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I say we try it.'

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The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'No, this is area 50...Area 51 is over that way...'

'What did He do before he was God?'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

"How long has he been missing?"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"I'm afraid Larry sleeps with more than just the fishes."