Pastoral Ponderer T-Shirts

"No, sorry. I couldn't possibly take on another one. I'm short-staffed as it is."

"Are we bucolic or just afraid to take risks?"

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

My mother was the one that pushed me into this business.

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

This would make a great puzzle!

What's the best way of removing wool from your teeth?

Cow caught on barbed wire.

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'Please take your receipt!'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

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'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Confusionism'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

The End is Near.

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

Soren Kierkegaard