Pastoral Ponderers Pillows

'Your five years experience herding cats is very impressive.'

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'I say we try it.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

A self-filling prophecy.

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Various Birds of Pray.

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

'Dang, that reminds me...I've gotta get back and post an entry on my blog.'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'