Religious Ponderers Pillows

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

'I'm not sure about the new guy.'

Just a thought on nooses.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

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'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Confusionism'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"How long has he been missing?"

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Soren Kierkegaard

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

Various Birds of Pray.

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Two books. One liberates the mind, and appears to fly. The other entraps the mind, and appears as a snare trap

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'