Religion Ponderers Pillows

'It's easy to tell conventional churches from cults, because we ask for 10%, while cults demand 100%.'

'This whole Bible thing sounds like a conspiracy theory to me!'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"I'm learning to live with existence."

Ten Commandments

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Please take your receipt!'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"Great, now we're lost."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Confusionism'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"How long has he been missing?"

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Off to a bad start.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

Soren Kierkegaard

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'

Two books. One liberates the mind, and appears to fly. The other entraps the mind, and appears as a snare trap

"The arc of the moral universe."