Religious Pondering Pillows

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

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'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Confusionism'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"How long has he been missing?"

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

Soren Kierkegaard

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

Various Birds of Pray.

"Does my brain look big in this?"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."