Spiritual Ponderers Gifts

"Ugh, I'm too hungover for salvation-come back later."

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

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Newton Discovers Surrealism.

'Confusionism'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

'What did He do before he was God?'

"How long has he been missing?"

Jesus wept

Soren Kierkegaard

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"Eve, do you realize that neither you nor I ever had a childhood?"

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

Two books. One liberates the mind, and appears to fly. The other entraps the mind, and appears as a snare trap

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

Thomas Aquinas

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.