Parole Humor Gifts

"Wow! Eligible bachelor living in a gated community."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

May all your birthday wishes come true..

Christian and Born again Christian...

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'How now, brown cow?'

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

Corporate Lawyers

Dead Man's Handel

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

A signaller directing pallbearers

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

No, when I said "Who has Van Gogh's ear?" I was asking whose advice he follows.

"The ad was a typo. We're looking for an expert in fingerprinting...not finger painting."

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"I said 'blow job' not 'blow chunks'."

News and Magazines. Legal News. A defendant was freed by a loophole in a law. The statute of liberty.

Adult Magician

'You know, I just got a sudden yen for nuts and berries.'

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'

Uniporn