Parrot Humorist Gifts

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Hats and Food

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Scuba cow"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Cats at private view

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Dogs life

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Flight simulator'