Parrot Humorist Gifts

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Cats at private view

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Dogs life

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Flight simulator'