Parenting Superstars Pillows

"I don't normally like to increase a child's hyper-active medicine, but in this case...."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

The No No No's

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

Mother CareBaby Gap

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

JAMES BONDING

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Mother will catch you!'

Baby Footballer

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

Add your kids' ages together...

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'Dad a dachshund is really half a dog high and two dog long...'

Muscular Dad

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'The doctor is ready to see you, Teddy...Bring your handler!'