Star-studded Parent Pillows

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

The No No No's

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"No, my mom isn't hosing us down with water to keep us cool. She's hosing us down with sunscreen to keep us from burning."

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"I can always tell when the kids go back to school. Everyone is so happy and relaxed."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

Baby Brunhilde

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'I take from this flood of faxes that your son is in art class.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

"He's watching too much educational TV."

Igloo Art.

"Quick mommy, call Sothebys."

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

'Dad a dachshund is really half a dog high and two dog long...'

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'The doctor is ready to see you, Teddy...Bring your handler!'

'I painted the very same picture when I was in second grade and didn't even get a 'D'!'

Mobile Phone Mobile.