Glamorous Parent Pillows

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Baby tells other Baby to call.