Picture-perfect Parent Pillows

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"