Parent Like A Pro Pillows

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"They grow up so fast."

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

A mother and baby elephant

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'What's play?'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"That is one absorbent nappy."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"