Parent Like A Pro T-Shirts

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"They grow up so fast."

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

A mother and baby elephant

'What's play?'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'