Parenting Whiz T-Shirts

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'What's play?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Suffering from Cooties?

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Is there a vegan option?"

I love my family!

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

Growth Charts

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Playing Mozart to the baby.

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

"How is it gendered?"

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

Early childhood development

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'The stuka brought you.'

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Crying baby