Parenting Virtuoso T-Shirts

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'What's play?'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"How is it gendered?"

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'The stuka brought you.'

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

JAMES BONDING

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.