Parenting Virtuoso Pillows

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'What's play?'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"How is it gendered?"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

JAMES BONDING

'The stuka brought you.'

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.