Parenting Prodigies Pillows

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'It doesn't mention the things I'm a prodigy in.'

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"How is it gendered?"

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

The conversion.

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

"Does it come with instructions?"

'Dad a dachshund is really half a dog high and two dog long...'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'The doctor is ready to see you, Teddy...Bring your handler!'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'I'd like you to meet our new programs director.'

"Which one's mine?!"

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

"It's a neat idea for a book, Mr. James, but there's way too many big words."