Parenting Powerhouses Pillows

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

'Your mother and I feel it's important to let kids be kids. Can we leave that with you?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Ah...here they are!"

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"How is it gendered?"

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

The modern generation!

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'