Parental Powerhouse Pillows

Mom's Gym

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

That's my daughter, Alayna

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

No caption. (A mother runs on a treadmill with a baby carriage on the treadmill next to her).

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

Pinata good bags.

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."