Parental Superheroes Pillows

"It doesn't say you can't install them on the roof."

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

The Cost of Day-Care

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Babies vs. Dogs

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I miss the Augean stables."

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

JAMES BONDING

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

Fathers are Heroes

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

'Mother will catch you!'

"I mean, he does have a point."

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

Witch's child wants to ride mechanical broom.

Add your kids' ages together...

Muscular Dad

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

"Ugh. I've been on hold for 20 minutes..."

'You read him Jack and the Beanstalk again, didn't you?'

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

Kitchen Appliances Fed Up With The Baby.