Family Superhero Pillows

Fathers are Heroes

'Mum, when you've finished your full-time job, cleaned the house, sorted the laundry, made the meals and walked the dog could you sort out these bills for me?'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

"Mom doesn't wear tights or a cape but she sure has super powers..."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'She posted her first blog today.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"That’s ridiculous! What makes you think you were adopted?"

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"Put it on my tab."

'Let's get this party started!'

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Dad's home

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

Add your kids' ages together...

Muscular Dad

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

'Dad, can you please stop prancing? You're embarrassing me!'

'That's a cute little ginger snap you have there.'

"I've got him on vibrate."

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

"Don't mess with the electronic windows."

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'