Domestic Superhero Pillows

"They're not just my eggs. They're your eggs, too."

'I asked you two weeks ago to put a new lightbulb in the lamp in the spare bedroom. How long is it going to take?'

"How did Operation Remember to Pick Up Milk go?"

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

Iron Lady and Iron Man

"I'd like to treat my wife like a princess... but she's always doing housework."

'ONLINE PROJECT! - I'll give you an online project.'

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Caw blimey!'

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

The household cavalry

"You take care of the kids, you do the housework and you have a full-time job for which you warn less than a man who does the same? Respect... I can only fly and knock down scoundrels..."

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

Fathers are Heroes

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.