Domestic Comic Relief Pillows

'It's not a good time - she's in one of her moods.'

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Touché"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

The First Printed Bible

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

Dog Birthdays

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

Tourist in the desert

Break Glass in Case of Stress

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

"The good news is it's brightening up..."