Canine Comic Relief Pillows

'It'll take us forever to fill that thing up again ... '

Dog Birthdays

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

"Touché"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

The First Printed Bible

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

Tourist in the desert

Break Glass in Case of Stress

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"I've changed my mind"

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that what you have on your back may actually be my backpack."

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

When clowns run out ammunition.

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'