Comic Relief Lover Pillows

'I'll have the vegetarian option please.'

'The problem is I can't tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the Universe and one of my own bone-headed ideas!'

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."

Man can't open the plastic packaging of his plastic cutter.

'Would you prefer a quick termination or a slow, painful phaseout?'

'We never forget you have a choice.'

'Flat head, bolts in my neck,... I think at least you owe me a free tummy tuck.'

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'We decided it's our best protection against liability suits.'

We're now going off road'

'Could you please bring Marco Polo a fork.'

"I found this stuck in the sand right next to some sleeping people."

'Suddenly Jake was confronted by the dreaded raffler'

'Sure I could give you this shot in the arm, but I need a laugh!'

Sherwin gets an idea but forgets to pay the light bill.

Sharks Eating Humans at Seaside Restaurants

'I've just been down recently.'

'The insect repellant was a flop, however it's now a killer ance drug!'

"Mr Ridley, if I could find you not just guilty but guilty as hell I would do."

DARN Litterbugs!

Santa Mail.

'Don't worry! Those who suffer from permanent flight attendant face also live healthy, productive lives.'

'Now that my wife has had laser eye surgery, she's insisting we move to someplace with a better view.'

GOP: Life begins when anyone is thinking about sex!

"So now you're reading a book?"

'For patients with a diagnosis of amnesia, send billing statements weekly until paid.'

Hurricane Sandy

'Okay,GREAT,that's perfect! Now don't move!'

"When people said they wanted more fun at the office I don't think that's what they meant."

'Genetically modified baked beans...well they look and taste the same to me!'

"To save time, Dr. Nuclear, we ask that you stop following every correct answer with a bout of maniacal laughter."

"Joke's on her, I don't have a roommate."

Ruth had never seen Dr. Evans so at sixes and sevens.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'I don't give a damn what he says.'