Household Hero Pillows

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Nice iron. Your wife will love it. While I wrap it, you might want to go over to sporting goods and pick out a helmet.'

Wonder Woman!

Mom, do you get any perks with this job?'

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'The directions said to use two capfuls.'

"Will you please stop acting like my mother except for the laundry and food and cleaning and stuff?!!"

"You hear waves crashing, I hear our dishwasher."

'Y'know - you should get yourself a hobby too,luv.'

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

You wish

"I don't care if this is the kid cave, Robert. Pick up your stuff."

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

"I was going to take care of my pest problem myself, but I though this would be a good job for a professional."

'No matter what I do I can't get rid of his squid marks.'

The household cavalry

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

I put a feather pillow in the dryer by mistake! The repairman looked at me and said: 'Sorry about your duck!'

"I wish you'd empty your pockets before putting things in the wash."

Professional cyclist comes home to do chores.

'If you are so tired, why don't you do the dishes in bed?'

Trash Rock Band.

"How come you always say I'm better at doing the jobs you don't like doing?"

'Clothes-dryer Messiah.'

'Richard, no! We're counting on you to reset the clocks.'

'...and get some of that kitchen cleaner that kills molds and fungus.'

'You can camouflage yourself as much as you like Derek, but these dishes will still be here.'

"Don't forget to put the bin out, Dear."

In case of emergency phones.

"Let me guess, your wife's out of town?"

"So you fantasize about having two men at once?"

"It wouldn't have come to this if you just emptied your pockets on laundry day."

"Sorry I didn't take out the garbage."

"I've polished the mirrors, pots, pans and the furniture...now there's just one more thing to polish off."

"My job is to hang laundry on the line, and your job is to wave dryer sheets around until they dry!"