Household Hero Pillows

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Nice iron. Your wife will love it. While I wrap it, you might want to go over to sporting goods and pick out a helmet.'

Wonder Woman!

Mom, do you get any perks with this job?'

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"Will you please stop acting like my mother except for the laundry and food and cleaning and stuff?!!"

'The directions said to use two capfuls.'

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"You hear waves crashing, I hear our dishwasher."

'Y'know - you should get yourself a hobby too,luv.'

You wish

"The microwave is broke. It did warm my food, but it also tossed it around and broke my plate."

'No matter what I do I can't get rid of his squid marks.'

"I don't care if this is the kid cave, Robert. Pick up your stuff."

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

"I was going to take care of my pest problem myself, but I though this would be a good job for a professional."

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

The household cavalry

I put a feather pillow in the dryer by mistake! The repairman looked at me and said: 'Sorry about your duck!'

Professional cyclist comes home to do chores.

"I wish you'd empty your pockets before putting things in the wash."

"How come you always say I'm better at doing the jobs you don't like doing?"

Trash Rock Band.

'Clothes-dryer Messiah.'

'If you are so tired, why don't you do the dishes in bed?'

'Richard, no! We're counting on you to reset the clocks.'

In case of emergency phones.

'...and get some of that kitchen cleaner that kills molds and fungus.'

'You can camouflage yourself as much as you like Derek, but these dishes will still be here.'

"Don't forget to put the bin out, Dear."

"Glimmo" Washing Powder - Economy Size!

"Since it's Mother's Day, why don't you take the day off."

Man sees a public gym and a mother doing housework.

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

"Being a mum is a full-time job."