Meet The Parents Pro T-Shirts

"It's my parents, for God's sake, Sid. Stand up straight!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"They grow up so fast."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

The Baby Walker

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

A mother and baby elephant

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!