Showy Parenting Enthusiasts Pillows

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

'The child is very illogical'

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

Yummy Mummy

Baby Footballer

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

'Gautier goes to Mothercare.'

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

We ARE playing catch.

Next On The Agenda

'She can't answer when I call, but she loves the ring tone.'

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

"Just tell Daddy who hit you, and I will march upstairs and ask Mommy how to handle this!"

Our genius techie kid is hacking your bank account while your read this.