Fashion-forward Parent Pillows

'My Mom wears her cap backwards to keep the sun out of the eyes in the back of her head.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"We have the exact same taste."

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

How's the new one?

Handbag: But You Have Kids and a Dog/But Have Kids

Dog with a neckerchief feeds dogs in matching nappies.

Yummy Mummy

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"It may look funny, but at least I'm warm."

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

I'm looking for a useful gift for a newborn. Nature's Baby Boutique. We have a large selection of essentials. Here are the 100% organic, fair trade, hand-dyed pashimina diaper covers. Wow! Nothing says "essential" like popped-on pashimina. A little dry-cleaning and it's good as new.

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'I've no objection to children, darling, as long as they're carefully colour co-ordinated.'

'Gautier goes to Mothercare.'

'I can't wait till I outgrow my role as an accessory.'

Meals on Heels.

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

A design, showing how the pretty hoods worn by ladies might be made useful as well as ornamental.

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

"Just tell Daddy who hit you, and I will march upstairs and ask Mommy how to handle this!"

Tarzan has a copy of playboy

Parenting: then and now

"?With this new baby-belt, I can baby sit while my wife works?"

"Hey Mom, love your new sweater! #mom #lovemymom #coolmom. . ."

'Gucci...Gucci...goo!'

"Still prickly, but smart. Styling gel makes the difference."

"You don't think he'll regret it when he's older?"

"Dad bods are so in right now."