Celebrity Parenting Guru Pillows

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

'What's play?'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Playing Mozart to the baby.

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

A Boy and His Mother

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

Gangs of New York

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!