Modern Parenting Commentator Pillows

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Use your inside scream."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"I'm sure he's a fine boy, but we prefer interviewing your son in person."

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

Modern Baby Mobiles

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

"Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing how well-behaved your children are. May I ask which medications they’re on?"

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

'They start texting so young these days,'

"Just tell Daddy who hit you, and I will march upstairs and ask Mommy how to handle this!"

"Men are like fast food - expensive, unhealthy and they make you fat."

"Yes, but Mummy and Daddy are on legal drugs."

Free WiFi On-Board

We ARE playing catch.

'Mommy!'

Honest, D-D-Dad. My homework's "in the cloud."