Parenting Commentator Pillows

'They're no fun. They're unbreakable.'

'My teacher gives me a note to take home to my mother almost every day. I think they're pen pals.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

A boy and his spin patrol.

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

Beware of teething baby.

"She's cute all right. But, whoa, what a narcissist!"

"I'm sure he's a fine boy, but we prefer interviewing your son in person."

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"Mom usually chews it up for us."

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'... And, don't worry about his future. I'm sure my Son will give him a job, when they grow up.'

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

'Dad's my roadie.'

"Whenever mom and dad go out without us, they suffer from whatever the opposite of separation anxiety is."

"Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing how well-behaved your children are. May I ask which medications they’re on?"

'Yeah, but how does the stork get into the maternity ward?'

The number of couples separating keeps growing.

"It's not easy, the constant demand for attention, the fussing and crying..."

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

'Satellite TV? You're spoiling that kid.'

"You know kids love boundaries, Dad."