Parenting Pun Lover Pillows

"He has extremely advanced motor skills."

'You can really hold your drink.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"You've passed with extinction!"

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

A Brain Drain

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

'What are you in for?'

'And in conclusion...'

A Mom's Purse

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'