Parenting Laugh Pillows

"When do I get my phone call"

"Use your inside scream."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"She's a natural!"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Billy strip: help with homework.

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'What are you in for?'