Parents Who Need A Laugh Pillows

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Use your inside scream."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

"When do I get my phone call"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'How are the quadruplets?'

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'A grass box for the children is a wonderful idea.'

"No. I have the baby."

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."