Organic Grocer Gifts

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

Cage-free eggs.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

"We're odd looking but just as good."

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

The Organic

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Stuffing the turkey.

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Grocery Shopping

Attack of the 'health' foods

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

Apples...37 Spinach...43 Peaches...51

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free range scientists.'

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Organic farm

'What if your saliva's not organic?'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

'Are you sure this salmon was farm-raised?'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

Organic Milk