Shopping Organic Gifts

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

See you at the farmers market!

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Stuffing the turkey.

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

The Organic

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'Does any of your bread just have bread in it?'

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

(Direct to the Consumer)

Cage-free eggs.

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

'It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free range scientists.'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

GMOs

"I'm not touching it if it's not organic!"

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

Organic farm

'What if your saliva's not organic?'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.