Going Organic Gifts

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

The Environmentalist

"Even the waiters here are organic."

But is it organic?

Eco Princess

At the market

See you at the farmers market!

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

The Authentic Christmas.

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

Frankenfish

"Oh, that poor thing."

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

Snow White to witch: 'You're sure it's organic?'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'Ethical farm - none of our produce goes to fast food outlets'.